Long ago, I remember. The first thing I ever thought that I am able to see was a Purple Light. The word purple I came to know hundreds of thousands of years later and guess what! I am not an inch bothered that I did because it just doesn’t justify the glow, the fluorescence and the magnificent energy The Light had.
The first sound, I ever thought that I heard was someone communicating from across the light, in a now alien language, something like: Hey you! You’re carved finally and given the permission to let yourself free in the universe.
I recall that we were all told to find our purpose on our own. The purpose why energy was gifted to us. Also, it was made very clear that there definitely exists one. But before that, there was a decision to be made. Who wants to go which way and how?
The Person behind the purple incandescence, if it was a person indeed, is a witness; I chose to be that energy, that matter, which will fly unpredictably in any direction, unlike the thousands who chose to stick together and form one element because they were scared(Humans now call them stars, suns, planets). The idea of conforming to things wasn’t in my understanding from the beginning of eternity. Still, my mom thinks it’s my fault.
I was squeezed from a (now an injection like tube) into a large empty vacuum space where I wandered every galaxy, orbited many of those masses of energy and saw thousands of them find their purpose. Nowhere do I recall being attracted enough into ta gravity beyond my capacity to repel. I met comets on the way, similar guys which chose to be free like me, but were now fading out on their motivation. They thought that burning away was the only way to end their purposeless life.
Asteroids and meteors, on the contrary, were another bunch like me which found that hitting and harming the other celestials was increasing their energy. They adopted those methods to live on and roam in space. Hit, move on, make others move on.
Comets made me believe that I will have a similar burning out fate but asteroids made me doubt that. I thought that glow, sparks, light is not always needed to go on. Even dark matters were having fun! So don’t be afraid. Go on.
One fine umm may be morning or night.. I was passing by a huge mass(Humans now call it: Sun). I noticed one thing. Thousands of energies were trying to burn themselves up. I wanted to know if they were comets? But they communicated “No”. They were harming each other. I wanted to know if they were asteroids? But they communicated “No”. Then what were they? A gentle member of the Sun emitted a signal towards me. They were trying to build more energy by hitting each other, so that they may support the other masses who wanted heat for their existence. That was noble if you ask today’s humanly dictionary. I wanted to be a noble endeavor’s part too.
Ok so everyone around seemed to be finding their purpose. Some found it in others’ happiness while the others found it in their own.
I wanted to fly more to find out mine. I had only floated a little far when I felt a little pull. It was a huge blue-green mass that made me feel something for the first time. I felt a temptation for this trap: Earth. I suddenly felt my need somewhere. Someone calling out. I thought of The Purple Light. I let myself free. I dived in. Maybe it was time I find my purpose?
Then I recall being captive in a black space, smaller from the previous one. My energy all gone and I’m captive for what seems like an eternity. I felt millions of what I myself was reduced to – mere particles, all around me. Racing, shouting, craving, banging into each other to move out.
Then I recall climbing up a big narrow tunnel, moving intuitively towards a huge bubbling white mass, similar to the Sun I had met. I could see how those like me were running to collide into the magical sun. They all had a thin tail and a nasty head. I wished mine wasn’t similar to them(but sadly it was).
Later, I recall, floating around with a cozy cuddled thing. Wait, there weren’t any more of those nasty things there. Maybe I had a better head which the white Sun found rather .. ah..acceptable..maybe? Yes, I had won.
It was beautiful and simply, like never before in the last 2 million years.
Some time into the warm comfortable pampering and we both – me and my spongy sun, we transformed slowly into an asteroid-like being with a comet-like tail which slowly split into two tails. Everything was so instinctive you know. One day I just, out of the blue wanted to have a tails beside my head too. Didn’t know I’ll be wiping my pee with those tails months later. Then five more little tails popped on their own from each of the two tails.
A constant worry was a red meteor-like being pumping both of us with a fluid every single second. The fluid flowed within what seemed like two gelatins glued and stirred.
It never felt like we could relax anytime. Well, it had become just “I”. No more “we”, anymore.
Another day the potion of the two of us got a new idea again. The rest happened all by magic; instinct told us that the energy would be supplied into the potion without us bothering; right into the stomach of the dough-doll we were transforming into. We used the energy to play around. Pull some dough out, push some in.
The same devilish “intuition” occurred again and it made me realize that something was wrong. I had forgotten about my personality to constantly move away from wherever I am! Like: Never.Stay! What about not conforming to situations? Where was my aesthetic energy which defined my existence in the first place? I realized that I had patiently stayed in this place because I was devoid of all that energy, which now seems to come back all of a sudden.
My rebellion began. The last thing I recall before I realized that Earth happened…light. Light from the Sun. The real old hard working Sun is the first thing I recall after Earth happened.
Well, I can sum up that all free-floating aimless energies become human beings. Do you think this was the purpose I was sent to find? To become an irrelevant creature? This can’t be my purpose.
Just for once, I wish I joined the Sun. Baaaack then.
Sorry for this super metaphorical, personified post. But if you could relate, I hope you had fun! 🙂
And yah. Parenty audience. Do not mind. I went too deep into the biology of it all. But that’s how I (Happytrodder now) was made you know. 😉